A Message from a TSA Full-Body Scanner

Writes the scanner for McSweeney’s:

Can I see electronic components or liquid metals? Exotic bomb-making compounds? Timers or wires poking out of foreign orifices that mean us harm? No, no, and no, I cannot. And ladies, I have no interest in whatever arrangements you might have going on down there—no thanks! Fundamentally, I’m a specialist.

Click here to learn about that specialty.  Warning:  This article contains pervasive crudity.  If it were a movie, it would be somewhere between PG and PG-13, leaning toward the latter.  But it is funny.

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