Hobbits and Debt Absurdity

The world is changing. I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth, I smell it in the air. 

It began with the forging of great spending. Trillions were given to the entitlements, kindest and fairest of all. More to the big banks: lenders and craftsman of the sub-prime loans. Trillions more to the war-lords, who, above all else, desire power.

But they were, all of them, deceived. In the District of Columbia, in the fires of Capitol Hill, the Dark Lords of Congress forged a master budget, to rule all budgets, and into it they poured their stupidity, their incompetence, and their will to dominate all life.

One by one the free people of earth fell.

But there were some who resisted. 

A last alliance of fiscal conservatives marched on D.C., and on the slopes of Capital Hill they fought for the freedom of Earth. 

Victory was near, but the power of the Spending could not be denied.

We can all see that Lord of the Rings isn’t exactly fitted to describing the current political clime. All of us, that is, except John McCain.

During a recent speech on the Senate floor, Senator McCain read from a WSJ op-ed that attacked the Tea Partiers who support a balanced-budget amendment, calling them “Hobbits” who dream of defeating Obama and going “back to Middle Earth.”

As he so often does, McCain has opened his mouth and stuck a hairy foot in it.

As a supporter of the balanced budget amendment and somewhat of a Tolkien expert, I struggle to understand what McCain is talking about. 

Hobbits only enter the history of Middle Earth on a couple of occasions. The first is when the Hobbit Bilbo helps an expedition that ultimately defeats a dragon, destroys a goblin army, and liberates the entire region surrounding Erebor. The second instance occurs when a group of Hobbits is instrumental in destroying Sauron’s kingdom and freeing approximately half of the world from his domination.

If McCain meant that Tea Partiers behave in the same way, I fail to see how that’s a bad thing. 

I’m not sure there is an appropriate comparison between the Lord of the Rings and the Tea party. 

Of a few things I am sure:

  1. Raising the debt ceiling is unwise. 
  2. Compromising principles for purely political ends is wrong.
  3. Stabbing people in the back because they do the right thing is too.
  4. McCain set himself up as though he was opposed to the Hobbits. Other notable Hobbit enemies include orcs, goblins, dragons, trolls, Nazgul, traitors, an evil Wizard, and a dark lord. Birds of a feather… 

Maybe McCain could learn from the Hobbits’ example and develop some integrity. 

One final note: the Shire, the Hobbit’s homeland, experienced two battles in its history. In each, the Hobbits won emphatically. With that record, I’d want them on my side.

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