United Nations climate change peacekeeping operations

George Orwell would be proud. The United Nations is now considering expanding its operations to include “climate change peacekeeping.”

No, really.

The proposal includes the creation of a military force called “green helmets” which would be charged with “peacekeeping operations” in conflicts caused by global warming and depleted natural resources. Of course there is only one thing that an armed force under the command of an international government can ever do, and that is go to war. A war over weather, if you will. But they’ll call it “peacekeeping operations” and that will make it okay.

One has to wonder what such a war would really entail.

Clearly, military conflicts do arise from scarce natural resources, as the endless oil-related wars in the Middle East demonstrate. Yet after decades of global military intervention, those wars are not any closer to ending. If anything, those in the Middle East — on both sides — have simply shifted part of the financial burden of war onto Western taxpayers, allowing billion-dollar wars to escalate into trillion-dollar wars and perpetuate across generations. The US, the UN, and formerly the USSR have served as proxies, enabling Israel and various Arab nations to prolong their battles and never reach a conclusion. This is the nature of anything that begins with the letter “U” for United — a government of governments, by governments, and for governments. Political “Unions” always and forever exist to promote and prolong war and taxation, the most fundamentally governmental of all governmental functions.

But wait, there’s more! In related proposals, the UN is also looking for ways to intervene in the cases of small island nations which may be wiped out by rising sea levels. Sure, who would be in favor of washing away the homes of native peoples? The problem is that island nations have been rising above and sinking beneath the sea since time immemorial, which is the main reason why island-dwellers, especially in the Pacific, have always been travelers. There are only two ways to address this. One is to use geoengineering and deliberately, permanently force the sea levels to stay low even as the sun cycles through periods of greater and lesser amounts of radiation. This would be a tremendous undertaking the likes of which mankind has never performed, and it would entail a massive distortion of the climate from its natural state. The other option is for island natives to continue their millenia-old migrations as necessary.

If all this sounds utterly farcical, that’s because it is. Whatever the UN is actually planning right now obviously has nothing to do with rescuing drowning islanders or promoting real solutions to the problems of scarce resources. To move islanders is a small economic task that requires no UN intervention, while resolving natural resource turf wars is a nigh-impossible feat for anyone outside of the region in conflict. One can only conclude the UN is falling victim to the inevitable tendency of highly centralized authorities to make nonsense busy-work at the expense of the people they claim to help. Those who seek intergovernmental solutions to climate issues would do well to remember the most infamous Super Bowl commercial:

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